Engagement Ring Etiquette

In Western culture, engagement rings represent the promise of marriage. They have been used for many centuries as a "down payment" on the bride, and the value of the metal used in the ring was supposed to be a sign of the groom's wealth. The rings began as simple bands, but have evolved over the centuries into more elaborate pieces of jewelry, ultimately being set with diamonds and other gemstones.

Ritual
The prospective groom may select and buy the engagement ring on his own to present to his beloved when he proposes. Discreetly finding out her ring size so it will fit is a nice touch. However, couples may shop for the ring together, or a future bride may pick out her ring and even help pay for it. The element of surprise is preserved by not knowing when the groom will propose.

If the women agrees to marry, she should immediately begin wearing the ring for the sake of harmony unless secrecy is needed. However, she is under no obligation to wear the ring, or to wear it on the finger next to her pinkie on her left hand, which was believed in ancient times to be the only finger with a vein going to the heart, the symbol of love.

Stones
Engagement rings typically have a stone, at least one diamond, but this is not mandatory. Any ring that suits the bride is acceptable, even with other types of stones. Some engagement rings are passed down through families.

Notifications
The bride's parents should be the first informed of the engagement, even if only to confirm the deed when the groom goes the traditional route and asks them in advance for their daughter's hand. Next, the groom's family gets the news, and then friends and the general public.

Wedding Day
Before the wedding ceremony begins, the bride may move her engagement ring to her right hand, leaving the the left hand free for the wedding band. After the ceremony, she should place her engagement ring above the wedding band.
The bride can also keep her engagement ring on, removing it only while the groom slips the wedding ring on her finger, then placing the engagement ring above the wedding ring.
If the bride wears gloves, she should remove them, or wear special gloves with a slit in the ring finger so the fabric can be pushed aside while the groom puts on the wedding ring.

Broken Engagements
If an engagement is broken, who keeps the ring is a legal matter that varies by state. To settle out of court: If the woman breaks the engagement, she returns the ring. If the groom breaks the engagement or does something unforgivable that makes marriage impossible, he lets the bride keep the ring.

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